I Would Never Cry
by Squid7000
Summary: The night Lily "breaks up" with Severus, from her point of view. OLD


**I Would Never Cry**

**A/N **This is my second fanfic! Yipee! Ok, so it's basically the night Lily breaks up with Sev from her point of view! Contains DH spoilers. Ok, I hope you like it (somewhat)!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. *tear***

I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. The past few hours had been so surreal, as if they had not really happened to me. As if any moment, I would wake up from a hideous nightmare and life would go back to the way it had been.

"Lily?" a soft voice suddenly called. "Are you awake?"

I sighed and sat up, pulling the curtains around my bed apart. I saw Mary Macdonald standing at the doorway looking nervous, her honey blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and her robes still on.

"What is it, Mary?" I asked, slightly annoyed. I loved the girl to death, but I really didn't want any company at the moment.

"Snape's waiting for you outside the portrait hole."

That got my attention.

I jumped out of bed and ran to Mary. "What?"

"I told him to go away!" she added quickly, as if afraid she had offended me. "But he wouldn't listen."

"Well, tell him I don't want to talk to him!"

"I did!" she cried. "But he threatened to _sleep_ out there if you didn't come see him!"

I groaned. "Must he make everything so complicated?"

Mary nodded sympathetically. "I know," she said, but then her eyes brightened. "Do you want me to hex him? Oooh, or better yet, do you want me to get _James_ to hex him?"

"No," I said quickly, partly because it was true, partly because I just wanted to keep Potter out of the conversation. "I need to do this alone."

Mary looked nervous again. "Are you sure, Lils? Because I'm sure Alice or the Marauders would be more than happy to ---"

"I'm sure," I interrupted. "I have to end it, once and for all."

Mary still looked hesitant, but she nodded all the same. "Alright," she said. "Good luck." And she left.

I sighed, trying not to think of what I was about to do. I ran a brush through my shoulder length, dark red hair and straightened my dressing gown. I thrust my shoulders back, held my head high, put on a brave face even though I was scared out of my wits (_You call yourself a Gryffindor, Lily?_), and walked down the stairs, straight through the common room, and out the portrait hole.

Severus was pacing. He glanced up at me almost instinctually, continued pacing, did a double take, and stopped.

I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows to tell him I was _not _starting the conversation off.

He seemed to get the message. He closed his black eyes, took a deep breath, and said, "I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not interested."

Severus opened his eyes, obviously shocked. "I'm sorry!" he repeated, as if afraid I had not heard him correctly.

"Save your breath." I tried to get as much venom as possible into that one sentence. He hurt me. He really hurt me. And now, he expected all that hurt to just disappear, by saying, "I'm sorry?"

I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. So, instead I decided to let him know I was not meeting him right now for his own sake.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just ---"

"Slipped out?" I didn't pity him. It was his choice to call me that horrid, horrid word. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious, little Death Eater friends ---" I gave him the chance to tell me otherwise. To say, "We're not Death Eaters, Lily, how could you?" But he didn't. He didn't even blink an eye.

"You see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words. I mean, deep down I had always known them to be true, but I had never accepted it. Saying those awful things aloud, made them true.

Severus opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. I guess that's about as good a confession as you get.

I closed my green eyes and took a deep, steadying breath.

"I can't pretend anymore," I said. "You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

I opened my eyes and saw Severus looking so helpless, I almost felt bad. Almost.

"No ---" he said and I half expected him to get down on his knees, "listen, I didn't mean ---"

"To call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, looking rather pathetic. I threw him one last contemptuous look because contempt is a heck of a lot easier to feel than sadness, and climbed back through the portrait hole.

"It's done," I announced to the common room at large. I needed to speak the words aloud. "It's over."

I looked to see who I was talking to. The room was virtually empty, except for the two groups huddled in the two opposite corners.

I looked to the left corner and, with a start, saw the Marauders. Remus Lupin, with his light brown hair and warm eyes, was looking gentle and understanding as ever; plump, little Peter Pettigrew was looking slightly confused (not unusual, trust me); Sirius Black was leaning back in his chair, his eyebrows slightly raised, being far better looking than anyone had a right to; and James Potter . . . Potter wasn't even looking at me. Not only was he not looking, but his back was to me. That was a first.

I turned to the right corner and saw my dorm mates, aka my four best friends, all staring at me, too. Amanda Johnston, with her curly blonde hair in a ponytail, was wearing an expression similar to Remus' (I swear those two were separated at birth); Mary was looking pitying; Alice, with her spiky, light brown hair, was glaring intently at the portrait hole, as if she wanted nothing better than to go beat Sev up for me; and Marlene, with her long chocolate colored hair and eyes to match, had a small, satisfied smile on her face. In fact, it was Marlene's proud expression that finally broke me down. I collapsed into the nearest chair, my head in my hands.

My friends immediately swarmed around me. I felt Amanda's kind hand rubbing my back.

"It's aright," she whispered. "Let it out. We're here for you. It's ok to cry."

"No," I said, and stood up so suddenly my friends all fell back. "I'm not crying. I would _never_ cry over someone as stupid as him."

I saw Potter's head whip around, but I didn't wait for him to say something. I just walked straight up to my dorm and collapsed on my bed.

That was the last time I ever spoke of Severus Snape.

**The End**

**A/N **So what did you think? I love this scene from DH. It is so sad and makes you feel so bad for poor Sev. Sigh. Anyway . . . **please, please, please, please, please, please review?**


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